limitations of language

i saw this from one of my neurodivergent groups and it made me think about the wonders and limitations of language.

"when i share bad news with someone, and they say 'i'm so sorry to hear that,' what am i supposed to say in response?"

there are things that simply can't be expressed in words or even deeds. none of my partners and certainly none of my children will ever know the degree to which i love them because it's impossible to express by simply rearranging atoms and vibrations on this plane of existence given the sensory perceptions we know we share. but they know they're loved and beautiful and brilliant and strong and so many wonderful things.

it's important to extend grace, i think, when someone gives what feels like a meaningless pulp platitude because to them, it's not--they really mean it, as well as they can, and we should never, ever, ever respond to compassion with what amounts to nothing more than pedantic derision. is there more value in being correct or in being connected?

they're doing their best with the tools they have to help you carry your grief, and sometimes the only tool they have is 'sorry to hear that,' or 'damn, that's crazy,' or if you're me, 'is there a way i can help? Lemme know how i can be in your corner,' because I naturally run to Fix-It Mode rather than Listening Mode and i'm trying to be better about that. i've spent most of my life trying to convince my nervous sytem that i'm not being hunted for sport and so Fix-It Mode served me well for survival but now i just want my people to know i'm here for them and love them.

language is one of my special interests, and while i know some languages have words for things that are all but ineffable in English (German Lebensmüde, for example, "life tiredness," or Spanish el duende, for when you are emotionally impacted by art), and in theory we could simply make some up, and we likely will, but in the meantime, neurodivergent folks and poets will need to work alone and together to continue to develop languages to express the emotions we need to in order to maintain some semblance of our sanity.

but while i accept that language evolves, and i'll never intentionally deadname a person, i'm never calling it 'x.' it's twitter.

 fuck you, elon. go piss a centipede.

---

Cash app: $MikkoJTR
Venmo: @mikko575 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

March 28, 2026 - remembering Granny

28 years ago my grandmother died. In the years since I've often recounted that day, and hearing for the first time the desperate, primal wailing of a son who just found his mother on the floor as my uncle beat our door in the morning, screaming and inconsolable. I want to spend this anniversary remembering who she was, or at least who she was to me . Above all, Ortha Marie Chapman Kotlarz was as faithful a woman of God as she knew how to be. When we moved to Blackbottom in 1995, we all stayed in the house on 49th Street with her and her husband, who (whom? Whomst even knows anymore) we called Poppy and whose given name was Ken, for a couple weeks and my mom found soon that the house she grew up in on 47th Street was available for rent. And the landlord, Roger, was a legitimately kind man, and as such had no business being a landlord. I hope all his dreams came true. We'd have been homeless for most of my childhood if not for that man's kindness, and if you know anything abo...
Read more

hello, world

I'm struggling a lot with even the concept of 'worth,' especially as it relates to me. According to various people and agencies, my worth fluctuates between "$22 an hour" and "why are you still here? Shouldn't you be in the ground feeding the worms?" There is an ever-dwindling number in a bank account that tells me exactly how much I am worth, and it's up to me and my partner to work out how to use that number to sustain our family until it briefly bumps up a little bit once every two weeks. One thing I've been trying (and largely failing) to remind myself is that these numbers are not reflective of who I am--if anything, they reflect what I do . Essentially these numbers are the collective response to people, corporations, and governments asking "how useful is this person to me? To what degree can I exploit this person for their utility to me?" To me, human beings have inherent value (with the possible exceptions of tho...
Read more